Let’s be unconventional and begin at what often feels like the end.
My life feels like it’s wilting quicker than a spring rose in the darkest days of winter.
I’m not ill- not physically anyway, just tired of the monotonous negativity of my own mind.
I’ve become consciously aware of how hard I’m trying to remain positive and appreciate the little things; having sustenance, a roof over my head, no real issues that some within the world have.
It’s almost like an overwhelming sense of selfishness: “Nobody feels as low as I do” and that concerns me greatly.
This in itself is another issue that needs greatly addressing.
It’s true what’s said about the past coming back to haunt you- perhaps it’s not wrong for doing so, maybe the harsh truths of yesterday are often needed as reminders of how to conduct yourself tomorrow.
Running away from the chaos you left behind is only a very temporary solution- the decision is no longer set in stone and cracks have appeared.
Whilst the past has begun to rebuild itself twice as strong its apparent I’m becoming more broken the more the future unfolds.
Perhaps this is my just desserts?
I can’t help agree that it is absolutely and unequivocally deserved.
There’s no guarantee that these circumstances will ever obtain any form of status quo however if I was a religious person- I’d sure as shit pray for it.
I’m a fan of sayings if I’m honest, e.g “bury the hatchet”, “live and let live” but sadly on occasions such as this one I doubt they’ll ever come into fruition.
Similar to the pyramids- I will rebuild myself, one brick at a time, starting from the bottom with the intention of reaching the pinnacle.
A singular point at which I will have achieved the ultimate goal: undying happiness.